- Roxanne Williams
- Kansas, United States
- This started out as a blog about our domestic adoption. So all of the older posts are about that journey. It was an interesting one, and it led us to our son, Jacob. My dream since I was a little girl was typical of most little girls. I wanted to get married, and have children and be a stay at home Mom. Although, not a very popular choice for a profession now a day, I find it very rewarding. As a matter of fact, every day is an adventure! I've been told personally that the stay at home Mom profession isn't 'work', but spend a day with me and you'll see just how much 'work' it is!!! It's blessed work!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
American Adoptions packet 2
We filled out the initial application to have our homestudy done by 1 800 Homestudy and then we mailed it and another check. We had officially started! again...but what happened in the past was the past and we just weren't going to re-visit it. We need to keep moving forward. So we received a phone call the next day, and American Adoptions aka 1 800 homestudy had received our application and they would be mailing out packet 2 us and they would match us with a social worker who would be getting in touch with us. We were so excited. When we received the second packet it was kind of thick, but most of it was information. We were delighted to find that we had most of the paperwork already finished and in hand. I located marriage certificates, birth certificates, Guardianship documents, and the references. The only thing that needed to be updated on these were the references. So we pestered our friends once again for an updated reference. They were all very responsive and returned them quickly to us. We got looking at the rest of the documents needed, and there was really very few left. We needed to go to the KBI office in Topeka to get fingerprinted for the background check, Child Abuse and Neglect registry clearance, and some other document. We made plans to do that (actually had to make plans three times to do that, because Kansas is having a snowy, cold winter and we keep getting blizzards!). We both needed physicals. We had to get a vaccine for the kitty. We had to get employment and insurance verification noterized by our employers. The paperwork really wasn't going to be so bad this time. Who would of known that domestic adoption would be this easy. I knew things seemed to be going a little too easy. I knew we were getting ready to be 'zinged' as I like to call it. So we made an appointment to talk to American Adoptions about using them as our agency. 1 800 homestudy is out of them, but you don't HAVE to use them as your agency. They will just do your homestudy if you want. So we went into the agency office and talked to a wonderful adoption coordinator named, Wade. He was wonderful! He was very easy to talk to. He showed us all kind of info. Then we got talking about how much it was going to cost. Double! Double-what we had been expecting! Yes, there was a federal tax credit of around $ 12,000 that would be available if we complete it in a year. Yes, we had been saving for awhile (using the money in that bank only for necessary stuff). We came out feeling numb. We really want to do this, but HOW??? If this is really meant to be, God will provide. I know He will. He has in the past, He will again. I started to cry, John got mad. I didn't want to be discouraged about this. I had been working my tail-end off on paperwork, scanning all pertinent documents back into the computer after we were finished so we would have a permanent copy, cleaning, decluttering and re-organizing the WHOLE house. Why does it seem like this always happens? Once again...'why us? this isn't supposed to be so hard' John hugs me and says, "Honey, I'm not saying we're NOT going to do this....I just have to look at all the finances and figure something out. It'll be ok. I promise. We just need to keep moving ahead...getting the homestudy done. We'll figure something out!" It took a couple of days for the sting to wear off. Friends, who are SO excited for us, kept asking and I didn't know what to say. I just knew I don't want to be old and childless and wonder what may have been. I don't want to be alone. I don't want John to be alone. So we decided it was time to figure things out. Up until this point, we had kept everything a secret from our family. John's Mom and Dad have been saving up money to help with the adoption, but we didn't want to involve them. We didn't want to borrow anymore money from anyone. We wanted to do it on our own. Maybe it seems prideful for one to think that way. These kinds of situations play with your mind sometimes. It just seems like it should be a personal thing and you shouldn't involve others. I mean, having a baby isn't something EVERYONE else usually gets to be such a huge part of. Not that I would begrudge anyone for wanting to be on this journey with us. It's just difficult. So we just let things die down a little for a few days and kept working on the rest of the homestudy paperwork and the house. Then one day I was talking to my Sister-in-Law and after I explained the whole deal to her, she said, "I know you don't want to hear this, but Mom and Dad have been saving up for this for a long time and if you don't at least give them a chance to help, you're going to really hurt their feelings". OUCH! Another thing I wasn't anticipating. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, least of all family members who have been on this roller coaster of emotions with us. I talked to John and we finally agreed that we wouldn't ask for money, but we would let them in on what was going on. So that night, John called his Dad and gave him the news that we were working on the adoption stuff again and that we were farther along then we have ever been. We were excited to finally get to share it. I think they had their suspicions because we were working like dogs on the house again, and being kind of cryptic about things. They offered to help out and we said that we wanted to repay them for whatever they put into it. It seems like a good compromise. So now that they whole family is involved again, it's a team effort. We are going to get this thing done this time if it kills us!